missing

"What I can tell you is that being here, in my worst nightmare, in every Mothers worst nightmare, is that God..or whoever it is...was clever when he made us. He knew to wrap us tight in a little bubble and to just make it all blank. I am there and I'm walking and talking and breathing and I don't know what the next moment holds or if I can ever get through this or why it was us. I am writing this today because I don't know if tomorrow will be the day where my World starts to crash down and then what? Do I ever take another photo? Do I ever smile again?" - Sheye Rosemeyer

One of the most powerful and true statements i have ever read. Because, its. so. true. While i have never truly lost, and i meant lost, anybody super close to me, i have had a taste or perhaps an insight at what the missing can feel like. When you walk around and everything in your minds eye triggers a memory, a memory which brings on the sense of truly missing and it hurts. Your body physically aches but somehow we don't give up. We walk, we talk, we breathe but everything besides that is blank. After that, slowly, always slowly, time helps adjust to that new kind of normal. No, things will probably never go back to the way they were, but things will improve.

This is, in some way, a comfort. We don't have a clue what is to become of us. We don't know what next year holds, or if tomorrow is the day that we break down. Nobody knows. But the point is things always get better, always. We just need to have faith that when something isn't working out, it will take it's time, but it will always get better. "You can't have a rainbow, without the rain." Cheesy, yes i know. But read that quote again, it's true. Hold on tight through death week, a closing shift, exam week, or just missing and wait for the laughter. It's on it's way.